Home Alone

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This last week has been a huge struggle. I'm home from Texas, and my dad has gone back home. Nathan and Heather aren't coming until next week.

It isn't being by myself that's so hard most of the time. It's dealing with all three kids fussing/misbehaving/needing attention at once, getting everything done that needs to be done, and keeping my sanity while doing it that's hard. Tuesday was especially bad. I wanted to just get out and do something, but no one was free for a playdate, and it was alternately too hot or rainy to go to the park, and I was trying to get Niko on a nap schedule, and needed to stay home for him. I also had wanted to clean the house. None of it happened. The morning started with everyone fussing and complaining, and that continued through the day. Colin was picking on Brennan, Brennan was being super-sensitive and became OCD about everything (if I took something out of the refrigerator, he FREAKED OUT if I didn't put it back EXACTLY where I'd gotten it. Where Colin needs his routine, Brennan needs things to be in their place, I guess.) Niko didn't nap all day, and only wanted to be held. At one point, all three kids were crying at the same time. I wanted someone to be here to help so badly, but I was on my own. I ended up feeding the boys their dinner, and put them all to bed at 6:00. I've never done that before, but it was the only thing I could do at that point, and I'm really glad I did. It did take until about 7 to get Niko to sleep, and until 8 for Colin to fall asleep, but it was so nice having that down-time after the horribleness that was the entire day.

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Yesterday a few times seemed like they were going to start up again, but I went overboard trying to keep them happy. I gave Colin and Brennan both pie pans full of sugar to draw pictures in at the table (I wanted to use shaving cream, but couldn't find any). I gave all of the boys baths after that, or at least put them in the water, and let them splash around. And we went to Chick-fil-A for dinner.

We did go to the Hubert Bypass Park and Nature Trail... Monday? The boys wanted to go on the nature trail, and as we were walking down there, we stopped to look at a lizard on a post, but there was a wasp sitting on the other side of the lizard that we didn't know about until Colin reached for the lizard and got stung twice on the hand. Poor guy! But he was a little trooper, and wanted to keep going. I gave him the option to come home several times, but he wouldn't hear it. I did convince him to hold our cup of ice water against the stings for a while, but even that didn't last very long. The nature trail was pretty fun, and after that, they played at the park for a little bit.

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It started raining today, and rain always puts me in the mood to bake. I made a yellow cake, cut it in half to make two layers, filled it with strawberry jelly, frosted it, and added colored sugar sprinkles. The batter had made two 9" cakes, but they turned out a lot higher than I wanted a double layer cake to be (this time). So, I froze one for later.

I also made hummus today, minus the lemon juice. The boys didn't like it, but I did. Nikolai managed to grab a piece of the flatbread while I was listening to something Brennan was saying, and started to eat it. I guess he's ready to start solid food, even if I'm not!

I guess that's it for now. It's time for me to get some sleep before any of these kids wake me up again! Have a good night, everyone.

-Amanda -_-*

Experimentation

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I've been trying out new recipes the last few days. Well, one was a repeat- banana bread- but I really needed to use those bananas, and it's such a rarity for bananas to get to the banana bread stage that I wasn't going to waste them on something I new to be less than fabulous. Although I did reduce the sugar by half, omit the oil, and add 1/2 c of applesauce to the mix, because I thought about it, had applesauce on hand, and wanted to make it healthier. I hate adding a cup of sugar to anything, it's just so excessively gross when you've accustomed your body to not having that much sugar. Thank you, Colin!

So in addition to the banana bread, what worked: dairy-free oatmeal pancakes, which were, in fact, so good that I think I will make them more often than normal pancakes from scratch. A little more work, but definitely worth it! Challah in the bread machine. I really had doubts about this one. But it worked. And it is good.

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Dandelion fritters, which Heather gave me the recipe for a few weeks ago. Our yard was ripe for harvestin' before the lawn guys came to cut it. So Brennan and I harvested half a bucket of dandelion flowers (that part was a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed spending the time with only him), then while they were supposed to be taking their naps, I made them into fritters. They take a little getting used to, but they really weren't that bad. They were much better drizzled with honey. Crockpot Chicken Adobo. I found a new food blog, A Year Of Slow Cooking. Last time Matthew was gone for an excessively long time I found Smitten Kitchen. Look them up. Drool over the pictures. Cook a lot. Anyway, back to the chicken adobo. It was pretty good. The vinegar flavor was a bit strong on the veggies, but the rice evened it out a little, and the leftovers cold for lunch today were phenomenal. The vinegar had mellowed out (or maybe it was because I'd drained most of the liquid), the chicken was still moist and yummy, the bits of pickled carrot and onion that were left were perfectly delightful. I couldn't decide last night if I wanted to make this again, but I think I will, and will refrigerate it and serve it cold next time. It would make a really good summer dinner, cold. Maybe toss it all together with some pasta for a pasta salad sort of dish. Mmmmm!

What didn't work: yogurt. Maybe I did something wrong, maybe I didn't use the right type of milk or starter yogurt (though from what I've read previously, I probably did something wrong. It probably needed to be kept warmer than it was). I tried it twice, and the best I got was the whey separated from the curds, and the curds tasting like sour milk. Wait a minute, curds? In yogurt? Yeah... I think something went wrong. I found a different method for making it in the crockpot (at the aforementioned site, again), and I know of a different method still that would probably also work better. I'll try one or both eventually. But for now I'm going to buy another couple tubs of the ready-made kind. And more flour. Because the co-op won't be ordering again for another couple weeks, and I need flour before then.

So, I'm happy with what I've accomplished in the kitchen. I still need to make some more granola bars, and I'm itching to just go off the deep end and bake fifty things at once, but for the sake of our health, I'll probably abstain. And maybe bring some of this bread to church tomorrow. Or maybe not. I don't like sharing yummy stuff. Though I probably should, if I want to make more. Maybe I'll make a care package for Matthew.

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In other news, we got a dog a few days ago. He's a 3-year-old collie named Boomer. Colin loves him. You'd think no boy has ever had a dog before, that's how happy and proud he is. It's fun watching him. Having the dog hasn't been quite so bad as I thought. I really feel a lot safer at night, and I can just send him outside if he's getting to be too much. It's also given Colin something to focus his attention on, instead of his little brothers. I think this has turned out to be a better choice than I first thought it would be. Brennan is really freaked out, but he's getting better. The first night he wouldn't even let me put him down, and I've never heard him cry that way before. He was really afraid. He's gotten a little bit braver now. He's actually okay walking past Boomer if he's laying on the floor, and tonight even let him sniff him for a minute without starting to cry. Another week or so, and he should be okay with him. Just in time for us to go to DC for the weekend. He'll probably end up regressing.

I got the living room rearranged, and unpacked the rest of the boxes out there (I think). Still need to get stuff up on the walls, and finish unpacking the rest of the house. And I really need to start on my bedroom. It's a disaster, which is sort of amazing considering almost everything is still packed.

But anyway, that's all for tonight. Today seemed to be about three days long. I looked at the clock this morning and was shocked and dismayed that it was only 10, when I would have sworn it was at least lunchtime. The day didn't get much better from there. I'm exhausted, and we're going to church in the morning. Goodnight!

Sooo busy today!

Today was rather overcast and drizzley and yuck. And I just wasn't feeling like going to playgroup because Colin is the oldest one there by a long shot, and I was feeling sorry for him, even though he really doesn't care. I guess I was just being emotional because Matthew's gone.

So after doing a load of dishes and a breakfast ordeal involving far more omelets than I had intended to make (and really, if you're going to pick everything out of the omelet, why not just eat scrambled eggs?), we went to Target to look for a cake pan for Colin's birthday. Didn't find one there, but I did find some couch covers that I liked, so I got those, and some coordinating pillow cases for the pillows. Next stop, Michael's, where we found a 3-D car cake pan. I'm almost as excited about making it as Colin is to have a car cake!

After that we went to Chick-fil-A for lunch and playtime, and saw the pastor and another lady from church. I'm completely drawing a blank on her name (Denise? I don't think that's right), but she lives near our old house, and has a son a little older than Colin. They had a great time playing together.

After lunch we went to Sam's Club and Walmart, and got groceries and a bunch of stuff I've been putting off buying. Poor Brennan fell asleep between Sam's and Walmart, and I felt horrible about waking him up so we could finish shopping, but I really just wanted to get it done. And hey, it meant he and Colin both fell asleep early tonight! I put them to bed by 7:20, and they were both asleep by 8:30. Nikolai just fell asleep a few minutes ago, after fighting, spitting up, and everything else. Usual routine, not that I want to keep it that way. Ugh. I'm tired. Too tired to fold the laundry and wash the dishes that I've been trying to catch up on. But that's what tomorrow is for. There has to come a point every night where you say "enough". This point is it. I did clean up the living room after we got home, because I couldn't stand it anymore, and tired was one thing, but that messy was another. It got cleaned, and I got happy :)

Talked to Matthew for a bit, chatted with Misty online, now Heather's on the phone. I like having people to talk to.

I still haven't heard from our landlord about whether we can get the dog or not. As much as I want a dog on the one hand, I'm kind of hoping we don't get it on the other. We'll see what it turns out to be.

Home Again

And here we have the reason for the name of the blog. We've moved, again. We're still in Jacksonville, but our landlords at the old house said they couldn't renew our lease this summer because one of their mothers would be moving in. Bummer. I hadn't wanted to move again this enlistment. And, that ended up tying for shortest amount of time we've lived in a house: eight months. The other one we lived in for eight months was our second house in Hawaii.

Our newest house is pretty nice. In some ways, I like it better than the last one. The back yard is even bigger, and more fun, and has a mulberry tree (!!! squee!!!), there's a playroom/second living room built onto the back, a huge shed, wood floors throughout, and only one bathroom. I'm happy about that because I really don't like cleaning bathrooms. Although the bad part is, I have two young boys who make it necessary to clean the bathroom almost every time I need to use it. You gain some, you lose some.

Some of the things I don't like: the only phone jack in the house is in Colin and Brennan's bedroom, our bedroom closet has the air filter thingummy in it, which takes up half the closet (which is tiny to begin with, so small, in fact, that we bought a freestanding storage closet unit that's bigger than the closet!) The laundry room is outside, there's no dishwasher, and the last people who lived here had problems with a Peeping Tom. Which leads me to:

I'm getting a dog. Male collie, three years old, named Boomer. I'd been debating, even while asking permission from our landlord, but Delaney next door came over and introduced herself this evening, and told me about that little incident, and that sealed the deal. Dog will be acquired as soon as I get the go-ahead. And no, I do not do laundry at night anymore.

I'm getting the house all cleaned and unpacked and in order, getting rid of more stuff (a perpetual task, just like doing the dishes or laundry). I've gotten horribly behind on the dishes, partially because I took Saturday off to spend the day with Matthew, and also on the laundry. The playroom was a disaster this morning, but has been cleaned up. Yesterday I unpacked eight boxes, the first boxes I'd unpacked in about a week. I don't know what I did all last week, but it must not have been anything useful, if I'm so far behind on everything now!

But anyway, the house is starting to feel like home again. I first started thinking of things in that perspective about a month after we got to Hawaii. Matthew was gone, and I'd just discovered one of Nathan's CDs in my CD case, Blackmore's Night, Fires at Midnight. There's a song on there called Home Again, and it's about travelling the world, and discovering that home is where you belong. One line that repeats in the chorus is "Oh, it's good to be back home again." I was listening to that song, nearly five years ago now, and realized that I was home again. I belonged there, then, in that little housing unit with my flowers and herbs on the porch, hardly anything in the house at that point, but it was ours, and it was home, even if Matthew was gone on an exercise. I was home. Each move, I've taken a deep breath, and smiled, and told myself I'm home again. Today has really been that day for me for this move. The living room is a little less "boxed", things are getting cleaner, my hot spots are occuring again, routines are falling into place. I'm home again. And I don't want to be anywhere else in the world.

Days Four through Six

The last few days have been kinda crazy. On Monday, it was raining, but I'd promised the boys Sunday night that we could go to the Aquarium. So, we braved the weather and spent the morning there. That evening we looked at another house with RoseMary, our realtor. It didn't have a lockbox, so we couldn't get in. I was sort of glad because I'd like to talk to Matthew again before we decide on someplace. I told RoseMary we were going to take the week off, and see what's available next week.

Tuesday, yesterday. We went to playgroup and Walmart. As I was getting the boys out of the car at playgroup, Brennan ran over to the ditch and sat down in it. Fortunately, I'd packed an extra pair of pants for him. Unfortunately, I didn't pack extra shoes! Then after playgroup, when we were getting back in the van, Brennan tripped and skinned his chin. Poor guy!

At Walmart, we bought a few groceries, some stuff for the boys, a jumprope, and some flowers. The jumprope is supposed to be for me to help me get enough in shape to start doing Parkour, but Colin has been trying to use it, too! The flowers were potted pink, purple, and rosy red tulips, and two pots of daffodils. Tulips and daffodils are some of my favorite flowers, and I wanted something springy and pretty to decorate the front of the house.

We didn't do much else after that. I cleaned the house, the boys played, we made some dinner rolls. I watched a couple movies and did some sewing after I got the boys to bed, and it was really nice. Nikolai was kind of fussy, because I'd had some chocolate. I really should get some dairy-free chocolate so this doesn't keep happening.

Today, we've stayed at home. I needed some rest time from everything we've been doing lately, and I'm sure the boys did, too! I cleaned the house this morning, and attempted to catch up on the laundry. I'm beginning to doubt I'll ever be caught up again! I'm starting to understand the challenges mothers of large families face. I think I'm also starting to understand my role and responsibilities better, and am getting better at managing my time. I'm doing a lot better at keeping the house clean and getting the chores done, and still doing fun things with the boys.

I made cupcakes again today, yellow this time. We each ate one when we came back from our walk. I'm going to start getting dinner ready soon, and then it'll be bedtime for the boys, and hopefully more movies and sewing for me. I've gotten one of six placemats done, and still haven't finished the diapers. Hopefully I'll have at least the placemats done by the time Matthew gets home.

And one other piece of news: Nathan is back in the States from Iraq! He's in Wisconsin now, he should be back in Texas on Friday.

Day Three

Last night was horrid beyond belief. Nikolai didn't go to sleep until between 12 and 1, and then Brennan woke up poopy... Colin woke up with a wet bed... Brennan woke up screaming because the heater turning on scared him (I think it's something about Matthew being gone. Last time Matthew left, every time the AC turned on when he was asleep he'd freak out, too). So at that point, Nikolai, Colin, and Brennan were all in my bed. Colin and Brennan decided that, since they were in bed together, it was playtime. Got up, lights on, and everything. They came back to bed pretty soon, but one or the other of them was up about every half hour from then on. Colin wet my bed, and Brennan decided that 5:45 was time to wake up for good.

Today didn't go as planned, but it wasn't that bad, either. RoseMary had mentioned us coming to her house, but never ended up calling us. We went to church, I talked to Audrey, and she and her kids are going to come over sometime this week. After church, we took a very nice, long, three-hour nap. Well, Nikolai woke up partway through, and kept me up for a while, but I still got a good amount of sleep, too. After naptime the boys played while I... what did I do? Made dinner, took care of disasters, played with the boys, did some laundry. I guess that was about it. Nikolai got fussy again after dinner, and I'm pretty sure it's tomato sauce that's causing it. We'll see if eliminating tomato for a while helps. I hate this restricted diet every time I start nursing. At least this time I haven't gotten thrush or mastitis, or got sick and lost my milk. Those are things to be thankful for. And I can have yogurt. Woohoo! Dairy! Maybe I can freeze it so I don't have to eat that coconut milk ice non-cream. I'll have to try.

The boys stayed up kind of late tonight, but they were mostly behaving, and it was a pretty good evening, with the exception of Nikolai screaming. I got the house picked up again, and all of the dishes done. It's so much easier to keep the house clean when Matthew isn't home, and I don't understand it. The boys are the ones who make most of the mess, but I guess they do clean up everything in the evenings before going to bed, and Matthew doesn't. Part of it could also be I don't have that mental divider in my day between "work" and "Matthew's home, therefore it's time to relax", and keep working steadily from the time I get going to the time I get ready for bed.

I got out one of the puzzles I bought at the thrift store, and started putting that together today. I haven't done much yet, but I got maybe a third of the edge done. I haven't put a puzzle together in a long time. I figured it would be something to do in the evenings, and a nice way to relax when I don't feel like doing anything else, but don't want to go to bed yet, either. I didn't do any sewing today, even though I wanted to. I'm kind of disappointed, but I don't even want to get up to make sure Colin and Brennan are covered like I usually do before I go to bed. I'm in bed now laying down as I type this! Nikolai is sleeping peacefully beside me, snoring a little every once in a while. He has such a cute little snore. And he's so precious when he's asleep! He's precious all the time, except when he's crying. I got some cute pictures of him today, and a couple good ones of Colin and Brennan, too. I'll post them later.

Tomorrow the boys and I will probably be going to the Aquarium. I told Colin we could. I really do like the Monterey Bay Aquarium better. It's so much bigger, and there's so much more to see and do, and I'm really sad that we'll probably never get to go there again. But this Aquarium is okay. There's an outside part, which at least makes it a little more interesting. If it was only the inside, it so wouldn't be worth the drive. Though, we'd probably still go anyway, just because it's something to do, and for kids that young it's just as good as any other Aquarium. I wish I could find some other places to bring them. There's a children's museum in Wilmington, but that's an even farther drive than the Aquarium, and I'd prefer not to do that if I have any say in the matter. Anyway, all of this has been to say, that if we do go to the Aquarium tomorrow like we've planned, I'll probably be posting pictures then.

I'm so tired. And it's now just about 1. And Nikolai has been asleep for about half an hour, so I think he's going to stay that way. Here's to everyone sleeping well tonight!

Day Two

Today was, maybe, more successful than yesterday. I got the entire house cleaned, cleaner than it's been in a long time. And I got a little bit of work done on the placemats I'm hoping to finish by Easter. Of course, there were some setbacks, the worst of which was at dinner when Brennan threw the remainder of his food at the wall, and Colin dumped half the parmesan cheese onto the table. But we've survived, and we'll sleep and start again tomorrow.